The content of the article:
- Auto horoscope from May 29 to June 4
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Crayfish
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fish
The drivers are the most balanced people on planet Earth, the stars have been watching them for a long time. But our motorists are generally out of competition - not a single muscle will tremble on the face, and not a single rude word will escape from the mouth, despite the terrible traffic jams that await us in this spring-summer period. Although this calmness is understandable - at the beginning of the week they celebrate the day when Chomolungma was first conquered. So the driver started thinking, and even the traffic cops stand calmly, dreaming of their peak, and forgetting to wave the baton. Although, why wave a striped stick, the congestion will not go away from this. In general, we drink coffee, listen to chanson and rush five kilometers per hour.
Auto horoscope from May 29 to June 4
Aries
Aries, smile, and do not freak out - the machine will take you with the breeze wherever you want. And you have a lot of desires this week - and you need to have time to stop by at work, and drop in at the dacha (and who just came up with all this?). And do not pay attention to the drivers who lean out of the windows and shout out strange slogans - the guys celebrate World No Tobacco Day, so they are raging (you see, they decided to give up their bad habit, but they want to smoke). By the way, do not pay attention to the cobblestones that are paved with our paths - driving on perfectly smooth tracks is boring and uninteresting (you cannot see the landscape, and you cannot talk about politics with motorists-neighbors).
Taurus
Twins
Gemini, that spring is coming to an end, and summer is beginning, but there were no roads and there are no roads, and the pavements, proudly called asphalted, in fact, turn out to be incomprehensible from what. But is this sadness, because at the end of May is the day of cycling. So put your beloved horse in the garage and run to the balcony after your two-wheeled friend. Riding a bike is the best stress reliever - pedestrians don't curse, traffic cops don't slow down, and traffic jams aren't for you at all. But listen to the forecasts of meteorologists. What's the fun of riding a bike in the pouring rain? And find already a place to sleep - your two-wheeled foal dreams of joining an iron horse.
Crayfish
Crayfish, wipe the headlights of your favorite car, this week you will have to shine a lot and for a long time - you have not forgotten that Children's Day is celebrated? Everyone was happy and happy, and even the traffic cops broke into a smile (though somewhat strained, it is very difficult for the patrol boys to refuse bribes even on such a wonderful holiday). They also came up with some kind of milk day (it's good that it does not coincide with Ivan Kupala, that would be fun). But the car, in principle, does not care about any dates there - there would be a road, but there is a route. An iron girlfriend dreams of a ride out of town - in this your desires coincide, and on the weekend you will definitely be able to escape to nature.
A lion
Lions, do not be alarmed when you see guys on the track who are trying to ride on roller skates, and even over jumps. This week is Elena Isinbayeva's birthday, so her fans celebrate the holiday with high jumps. But do not let anyone near your car - an iron horse is a gentle creature, it will still get upset and lock itself up in the garage, which you can't even lure out with delicious butter. Better drive straight to work - no one is in the parking lot, and even the boss parked his cool car somewhere outside the fence (maybe he decided to quit?). By the way, do not envy cars with thieves' license plates - these numbers delight only drivers, and such upstarts are not quoted among iron horses.
Virgo
Virgo, do not hide with an iron horse in the bushes if you see a lot of military vehicles on the road. The week will begin with a holiday of a military motorist, better salute and roll yourself on to your business. And, please, watch the pedestrian crossings, the zebras have faded from the numerous rains, and the two-legged people use it - they run across the roads where they please (well, at least they don't carry paint with them and don't draw white stripes on their own). And the main stellar advice for motorists of your sign - be polite, and this road week will be good, kind, and positive, and there will not be a single boor on the highways and not a single traffic cop.
Scales
Libra, there will be so many funny situations on the roads this week that even cars will laugh. Take, for example, the strange men who run along the side of the road and try to drive pegs into the asphalt. Still, superstition lives in us, apparently the village boys celebrate the day of St. Ondron, which will save the world from drought (which is why the rains keep pouring down). But you have nothing to be sad about - the wipers regularly wash the glass, and the iron horse shines with pleasure. True, the car whispered in secret to the stars - it really doesn't like it when you get behind the wheel in unclean shoes (after all, the car does not enter your apartment without first washing the wheels).
Scorpion
Scorpios, this spring-summer week will not disappoint you, and the machine will also be happy. By the way, many drivers will be drawn to a tour of the Golden Ring. There is nothing strange in this desire - Nadezhda Kadysheva is celebrating her birthday, and her songs are heard from almost every car. If you go too far, turn on the cassette and enjoy the "Golden Ring" from the receiver. The stars finally learned the secret from the drivers of buses and minibuses - they stick a coin at the entrance to the transport at all in order to laugh at the passengers who are trying to pick it up. Money attracts profits, maybe you will try - you never know, suddenly you will have to give a lift to the voting billionaire?
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, be careful - on these May and June days, many traffic cops dream of meeting you. Do not rush to scold the iron horse for jumping too fast - the patrol guys just want to shake your hand and tell you that you are the perfect driver. Of course, it would be better if you were given an award for an excellent ride, but on the other hand, a traffic cop friend is not bad either. If your car suddenly starts to play up and rumble, the stars advise you to think about changing the gas station (something is wrong with gasoline again). After all, this week is celebrating the day of healthy eating, and the car is simply offended that only two-legged ones have a holiday (iron creatures are no worse than us).
Capricorn
Capricorns, if this week you have to give a lift to familiar old women summer residents, do not try to look into their bottomless little bags. There, grandmothers may have fresh cucumbers, and it is forbidden to look at the first cucumbers - a sign like this (suddenly there will be a crop failure, and you or your car will remain guilty of the evil eye, and offended grandmothers will bring rotten vegetables to your garage). And watch the road when you rush out of town - at the beginning of summer they celebrate the birthday of the parachute, and fearless creatures fly over the tracks like pigeons (and they land wherever they please, they can sit down on your iron horse if the breeze is fair).
Aquarius
Aquarians, this road week is going to be nice, but try not to drive too far on the weekend (unless you're superstitious, of course). People say that on Basilisk Day, even cars are capricious, and that is why many traffic cops have such frightened faces, disheveled gray hair, and the baton in hand is shaking. Although, as you look at, some of the patrol boys themselves look like mythical monsters (only fire from the mouth is not enough, and the uniforms are not sewn from the skin of a dragon). But there is good news - the beautiful Angelina Jolie has a birthday. The girl has a lot of fans-drivers, and they are all polite and well-mannered these days.
Fish
Pisces, the drivers of your sign are looking for where it is good, and your car finds where it is smooth - on these May and June days, the car drives exclusively along ideal tracks. It is a pity that only in a dream - imagine, and iron horses know how to doze and soar in the clouds. If you knew about the desires of your car - yesterday the car dreamed of a new radio tape recorder, today it suffers without beautiful covers, and tomorrow the car will require a pretty young fellow traveler (or fellow traveler). But some of your thoughts and cars are similar - on the weekend you need to get to the river. Just do not get on the day of cleaning the reservoirs, otherwise you will have to dive for rusty cans and torn shoes.
Cool auto jokes:
